I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
