office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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