i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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