The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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