how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
