I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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