I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
