He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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