what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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