I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
