Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i think my cat just said my name.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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