i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize