dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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