sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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