Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
