Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
