Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
