This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
This is my gift to your gina
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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