The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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