it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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