When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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