why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
