Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
