Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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