Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
