i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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