just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
