So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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