ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
