You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
At least life still wants to fuck me.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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