Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Randomize
