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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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