Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
