But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
