Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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