My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
if i died would you start the facebook group?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
