just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
