I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize