Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
