I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
