Will you blow on my dice?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Found your dick twin last night
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize