Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
