Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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