break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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