I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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