Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
