once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
