Kareoke will never be a sober sport
kristin has been a bad kristin
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
