Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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