I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
