can u get pink eye on your cock?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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