Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize