She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
