Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
