he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
