Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
