What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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