BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
