i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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