I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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