Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
