If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
