I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
