He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
