thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
