just tell him i said nine months
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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