You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
