ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
