Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
