I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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