Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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