Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she peed on how many people?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize