Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
