No, you can still breathe under the balls.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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