If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
