I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
