This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
