I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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