R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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