I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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